Today, at Jiko, I had quite a nice session with Mihaela, which followed another one that was by far the longest and most intense session so far. This happened yesterday and it lasted approx 2 h and 15 minutes altogether. She and I had a very nice conversation about life, consciousness, spirit and all sorts of other things.
“Why is it that you feel the need to tell me about the things that you are going through?”, she asked me.
“Let’s not forget I’m still human”, I said. “On different occasions, I’m still led by emotions. I have not found the power to control them yet. I mean…to be emotionless, that is. For example, the feelings of loneliness and abandonment were so overwhelming about a month, that I skipped two weeks of sessions and ran back home where at least I had the company of Pufi the Yorkie.”
“You did very well going back home, if that was what you felt like doing. However, that does not answer me the question. Or not exactly. You still feel the need to talk to someone about your experience. Why is that so?”, she tried yet again to make me go even deeper inside my being to find a proper answer.
Of course, now that I am awakened, many people expect me to behave and talk in a certain way. It is probably only perception. I’m sure Mihaela does not except anything from me.
“I will go back to the emotional body. Last year, when I started reiki, I thought I was a simple person. I remember well how, for a month or so, I stayed at a friend’s place who told me about the inner self, the illusion, meditation and so on. When he told me that Sensei was going to open the chakra that deals with sight I wanted to punch my good friend in the face. What is this nutter talking about? I asked myself many times. “
Mihaela started giggling and suggested me to continue the story.
“A month after that I was in the hospital behaving like a lunatic, sorry, I mean as if I was possessed. I was even sent to the psychiatric ward. The doctor there asked me if I was hearing voices. Of course, I would never say anything like that to a doctor. I came such a long way since then. And I did not talk to anyone about these things, except my mom and my sister. “
Mihaela gently placed her hand over my forehead. She did it in a very friendly and caring way and made me feel more at ease. A tear or two rolled over my cheek, which she removed.
“What I mean is that I miss human contact. I feel very lonely. “
“You not what is being said about life!? We spend it alone. We come here alone. We go through our journeys alone. We go away alone. “
“I know and understand that perfectly well. But I feel as if my friends are avoiding me. I’m not talking about those who are incredibly busy with work and such and have no time to come over. Even though it wouldn’t hurt them to at least call once in a while. I’m talking about those friends who live next door from me. And they simply do not bother. I know that everyone is going through their own shit. And I respect everyone’s time. And mood. But what kind of friend is that who knows about my situation and does not even answer my emails or messages and their excuse is that they do not know how to communicate with me. “ I sighed deeply and couldn’t stop my voice from showing regret and sadness.
“You know what?” Mihaela said. “You are in the best spot. On top of that there are no coincidences. When I started reiki, I stopped talking to some friends and some others stopped talking to me. But I met many other people that are more like me. It has got to do with the energetic body.”
“I am aware of that. I know that when you frequency and vibrations level up, you begin attracting different people who have similar ideas, thoughts and behavior as you. It’s the law of attraction. “
“That is exactly the point”, Mihaela confirmed me, “and because of that, you have no reason to be sad. And no regrets either. It simply means that these people are no longer needed in your life. “
“That is one hell of a way to get rid of some friends”, I thought to myself.
In any case, any conversation that I have with a therapist at Jiko makes me feel much better. I am still human.