Apr 122017

The most philosophical conversation I’ve had with the hands fluttering in my eyes I’ve dreamed over 500 times by now was as follows .

” Are You My Subconscious ?” I asked .

” Maybe I am , maybe I am not ” , they answered
” What are your intentions ? ”

” I want to induce a certain vibratory emotion in your deep and subtle levels of your mind . It is related to the state of sleeping and the state of being awake . I am here to help . ”

” Get my sight back ?”

” Indeed . ”

” Why is it that I can’t see ?”

“It’s all sadness in your eyes . On top of that , you haven’t healed all that hatred that suffocates your heart . ”

” What I need to do to make it better ? ”

” Fall in love with someone . ”

” You seriously mean like really falling in love ? ”

” That is exactly right . ”

” But falling in love with a stranger or even worse someone imaginary is dangerous . Or even even worse , someone who doesn’t even know of your existence or doesn’t love you back .”

” True , it is extremely dangerous . So what ? ”

” Where should I go meet someone ? I can’t exactly go stalk a random dude on the street . Or come up with a list of names and pick someone from there . ”

” I never told you to go meet someone in person first , then fall in love afterwards . . However I would never allow You to fall in love with anyone who doesn’t live in the same dimension as you or who isn’t real . Every aspect of an experience makes sense to me , including love without possession . Even if it doesn’t do so for you . The clear eye sees life . ”

” This sounds too complicated . You could have told me to go to Thailand , Brazil or Hawaii to see a healer or a wizard of some sorts . It would have been a lot easier than falling in love with someone somewhere between the imaginary , dream and surreal . ”

” It is not even half as impossible as you might think to have and to hold . It is up to you to make it happen . It is up to you to make it real . I want you to have endless trust . Do I ask too much ? ”

” Yes , You ask too much of me . It is not like I haven’t made any effort so far . And I wasn’t able to make any difference . I feel intoxicated with hate as I was in day 1 . ”

” I offered you the antidote . Please take it . You will be grateful and thank me later . ”

” But why is it me who needs to do all this work ? Why can’t he simply knock at my door and take me away ? I sure would like someone making an effort to win my heart . ”

” And he is not ? Are you completely sure about that ? Haven’t I suggested you this already ? There should not be any difference between sleep and wake , but you choose to turn your back on the idea and refuse to rise to the occasion . Moreover , you got yourself arrested . You haven’t done your time yet . But because I knew you wouldn’t have patience and wait , I allowed you to experiment in a different way . And so you entered in the land of dreaming . ‘

‘ So that means you are someone who can push some buttons in my brain and simply restore my sight back without all this effort . ”

‘ I could . At a single sign of mine , I could fill your room with colors . But I want to see joy in your eyes . I want you to keep your head up no matter what . This is the frequency at which I want you to vibrate .

” But I want to know who is he , where and when I am going to meet him . And how . I do not want to make a mistake and fall in love with the wrong person . My heart simply couldn’t take the force of such a blow . ”

” Well , remember what I told You before? If things do not come naturally , please unsubscribe from me . And don’t forget to try to second the second pair of hands that you see over the night at least for a second every time you become aware of their presence . ”

Then I literary saw these two male hands erasing this ‘video’ from my eyes and fading into distance somewhere in a point between my eyebrows .

Well now , what a task . How does one fall in love with another one when they never loved before ? Does anyone have a tutorial for it ?

  One Response to “A Candidate To Fall In Love With, Anyone?”

  1. Catalina,
    I wish I had some pearls of wisdom to offer you. Your trials are unimaginable to me and the bravery to make it through each day is something I can only admire from a distance.
    I know hope for a better day to come is what keeps us all moving forward.
    Your crochet videos got me started and offered a small piece of sanity and peace in a life that was and still contains much difficulty. I can only thank you for that.

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