Oct 262014

Dear Reader,

Do you know what the word “vermillion” means? It is a word I a first heard about nine years ago, in a song “Vermillion Pt.2.0”, by Slipknot, but I was never interested in finding out what it means. Until this morning, when I asked The Big Red Head Fox ( Ana) to tell me the definition.

Vermillion is an alternative writing for the word vermilion.

vermilion= a brilliant red pigment made from cinnabar (mercury sulphide)(Oxford Dictionary)

origin. It comes from the Old French word “vermellion”, which was derived from “vermeil”from the Latin word “vermilculus”,the diminutive form of the word “vermis” (worm).The name originated from this word  because the color is similar to the natural dye made by an insect, Kermes vermilio.

You can read more information about the history and usage in art and different cultures of this beautiful color here.

“Really?”, I said. “Is that what it means? I would have never guessed!”  At least my brain has not forgotten how to feel surprised.

In any case, nine years ago we didn’t have a computer. Owning one was a luxury not a lot of people in Romania could afford, back then.  As a teenager very much interested in music, I had to make due to what I had. I remember my sister and I buying a cassette deck , so we could listen to some radio and cassettes. Then my cousin gave us their old CD player. We started buying empty CD’s like mad and would copy music from every one I knew that had a computer. Around my teen years, I became rock music fan. Among the songs that I managed to get my hands on, I discovered Slipknot. Some of you know that Slipknot is not the easiest to the ear band to listen to.

One day, I joined my best friend inn high school and her boyfriend for a walk. I told them I had just discovered Slipknot and that I really loved their song “Vermillion”.

“I know”, the boyfriend said. “Isn’t it the coolest and most sensitive song ever?”, he added.
“Erm…Yeah?!”, I replied, but thought “What the hell is this guy talking about? Vermillion – sensitive? The one that I know is sort of brutal and loud.”

That year, I would often go to the local Youth Council. The guys there had an ancient PC, but still good enough to play some music.While scrolling through the tracks, I discovered the second part of the song “Vermillion”, by Slipknot, “Vermillion Pt.2.0”. I played it. Loved it and hated it ever since. I told myself: “This is probably the song that nutter was talking about the other day.” You’ll wonder why I hate it. Well, easy… it is one of the most lying songs ever. How come? Well, listen to it. It makes you believe in things that do not necessarily exist, or things that you are unable to find even if you are looking for them a lifetime. Besides that, no one ever sang it to me. No one ever told me that I am everything to them.

However, it is now the only song I know and understand all the lyrics to. During the evenings, while my brain is most active and does not allow me to fall asleep, I start singing this song as a lullaby. Sometimes it helps.



P.S.: I won’t go into polemics about the meaning of the these two songs, but I will if you make me to.

  4 Responses to ““A song that no one sings””

  1. Yea please do. I’d love to know the meaning of these two songs for you. Hope you are healing more each day friend.

    • Some songs mean more to me, some mean less. The idea behind Stuck on Replay category is to find those songs that can help my brain heal and that can help my heart skip a beat. Also, these songs help me in the remembering and writing process. All these things lead to imagination being stimulated even more and the more my imagination runs wild, the better it is for my brain.

  2. I agree with Joyce. I’d love to hear what these two songs mean to you.

    For my part, I hear the singer coming to terms with reality at the end of each song:

    “I won’t let this build up inside of me. She isn’t real. I can’t make her real.”

    On the one hand, it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that a fantastic ideal mate doesn’t exist and can’t be made to exist. On the other hand, coming to such a realization is essential to being able to have a healthy relationship someday with a living breathing person.

    Five years ago I was in a disastrous relationship with someone who expected me to live up to an impossible ideal. And naturally when I could not, our relationship began to fall apart. I was luckier because I never expected her to be an ideal mate, and while our breakup was very sad for me, it wasn’t as traumatic for me as it probably was for her. Since then, however, I think she has gotten over trying to find an ideal romantic partner, so now she is happily mated with someone else.

    • Sadly, in a way, I was one of those people who tried to change other people to match their taste. I don’t know what’s up with shy, good little girls falling for bad guys and thinking that they can bring them on the right path. I had to go through a stroke and become blind to understand that people do not change, unless THEY want to, or go through a traumatic experience, which, in most cases, will change people’s mind and view about everything.
      As for me, the song is also related to a romantic experience back in my teen years. Back then, I nearly never listened to the lyrics from the singer’s perspective, but from my own. When Corey Taylor would say “She”, I would say “He” instead. I remember looking at this guy through two open doors from a second room and listening to “Vermillion”. Every time this happened I would say “…and I don’t know what to do/ When he makes me sad”.
      In reality, I believed the singer was psychotic and ends up killing her because she tends to bring out the worst in him. In the end, he realizes that he had lost his muse and that he misses her, but nothing can bring her back, so, all he is left with is a dream and a memory of her.

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