„A song that no one sings”

Dear Reader,

Do you know what the word „vermillion” means? It is a word I a first heard about nine years ago, in a song „Vermillion Pt.2.0”, by Slipknot, but I was never interested in finding out what it means. Until this morning, when I asked The Big Red Head Fox ( Ana) to tell me the definition.

Vermillion is an alternative writing for the word vermilion.

vermilion= a brilliant red pigment made from cinnabar (mercury sulphide)(Oxford Dictionary)

origin. It comes from the Old French word „vermellion”, which was derived from „vermeil”from the Latin word „vermilculus”,the diminutive form of the word „vermis” (worm).The name originated from this word  because the color is similar to the natural dye made by an insect, Kermes vermilio. read more

„But I like it when I’am spinning in it’s Grip”

Massive Attack - Heligoland

Dear Reader,

I’ll start the „Stuck on Replay” idea with a song by Massive Attack, „Paradise Circus”, that you can hear below.
Have you ever been so obsessed over a song that you can’t literally get it out of your mind? In my case, „Paradise Circus” has been just the cup of tea for around 5 years, when I first listened to it on Radio Guerrilla, La Unica Radio con Cojones. So, I will be very high with my words of praise. And, I promise, it is the only time I will do so.
Do you know how hard it is to peak the right ringtone for your phone? You have a dozen songs you like, and you simply cannot decide which one you like the most. So, you end up choosing all of them and setting them separately for different people. Well, not in my case. This song has been the ringtone for my phone since the moment I heard it, and never changed once. I remember feeling so proud of my choice every time the phone rang, especially when I was in crowded places, where other people were able to hear it too. Some of them would even smile at me.
The song gave me courage to talk to a guy I liked back in college. It was a brief conversation and we didn’t speak again, but, in any case, someone really, really cool took notice of me.

It is, also, the last song that I heard before loosing my hearing, last year in December and it is the first song that I started to sound like music, when my hearing began to heal.
Ana changed her ringtone to this song, as well, to help me recognize it and understand it better. Every time her phone rings, Pufi The Yorkie gets really excited and jumps all over the place. He believes that my dad is at the end of the line, which he is in most cases.
I get excited because Hope Sandoval’s voice sounds sweeter and sweeter right from the words „It’s unfortunate…”. read more

My Soft Spot for Crocheting – The End of the Saga

My Soft Spot for Crocheting and Yarn Bombing

Dear Reader,

This post’s title says that this is the end of the saga, but I really hope that this is not really the end. Today’s post will include things that I omitted or forgot about in the previous posts and a few personal thoughts based on my experience so far.

If you are someone who used to know me back in my teens, you will ironically ask yourselves: „What? Catalina didn’t become some badass  leader, manager, lawyer, journalist, advertising agent, or something like that?” No. I didn’t become anything like that, even if I was that nerdy in school. read more

My Soft Spot for Crocheting – The Sequel

You Tube Views and Subscribers October 2014

Dear Reader,

This week I’ve been on listening to music spree. That is why I’ve been dragging the subject about crocheting for so long. But today, this post will be more to the point.

Last time I said I was invited to go to Ireland for the summer, in 2012. While staying there, I couldn’t find a job, because, well, I was basically just a tourist and couldn’t get all the legal documentation (address, bank account, bills, and the like). So, I had to find something else to do.  Seeing that my You Tube channel was growing a bit, I thought of doing different kinds of videos. I am gonna complain about something right now, and I hope I won’t upset anyone, because I have the highest respect for the famous You Tube crocheters (like Crochet Geek, Mike Sellick, BobWillson123). A lot of the crocheting that I know now I’ve learned from them. However, a lot of their tutorials missed a step, or an explanation, or something else that made things harder for me to understand at times. That is when the idea of making crochet tutorials came to my mind… Long and very explanatory tutorials, which would show viewers step by step, stitch by stitch instructions to help them. The kind of tutorials I wanted other people before me to have made when I first started crocheting. read more

My Soft Spot for Crocheting – The Beginnings

Baby Sized Afghan Tunisian Entrelac Blanket

Dear Reader,

Fall has come.  A few days ago I woke up in the morning and asked my sis (her name is Ana) to bring me a pair of socks to put on. Then, I wrapped myself as best as I could in the zigzagy  blanket that I crocheted two and a half years ago.  A warm cup of coffee would have been nice, but, since I am on a strict diet, I’m only allowed to drink natural juices and tea.  Around this time of the year, artsy craftsy  people get their hooks and needles on and start making all sorts of blankets, sweaters, shawls, cardigans, ponchoshats, and all sorts of other little bits and pieces.  This year, I am unable to join the crowd.  I know you will tell me that nothing can stop me, but there is something stopping me (last week, my sister and I tried to record on how to make and attach tassels to a shawl; I was missing so many yarn threads and loops that it became frustrating and weird, so I asked Ana to show the instructions for me – it was the first time she ever worked with a crochet hook…anyway, it is the same when I crochet simple stitches as well: I start with a chain of 20, the first row ends up with 22 single crochet stitches, the second goes to 19, the third uppers into 22 again and so on…Plus, I am unable to stop the tears from flooding down my cheeks when I am holding the bloody plastic hook in my hand.). So, today, I’ll talk a little about crocheting and how crocheting was just about to turn my life around (maybe it can still do so?). I have wanted to talk about this subject for months. read more

Fall is Coming with New Ideas, Plans and Sue Sidle Thoughts

Fall is Coming Leaves

Dear Readers,

Yet again, it has been quite a while since my last post. …Unbelievable how time passes… .114 days until the end of the year… . Yes, I am counting the end of my days. It is the first time in my life that I wish for the time to pass as quickly as possible. I even ask my sister to „wake me up when September ends”. She said she would if she were able to. I even asked her to induce me into a coma, and she is such a kindhearted person, that she googled about the problem and explained to me just how risky something like that would be. I wish my thoughts were a little happier. But it isn’t as bad as I make it sound. read more

I Had A Stroke At 26 – part 4

Victory Sign catalinastan.com

Dear Readers,

Welcome back for the last part of my story. If you were unable to read the previous parts here are the links: part 1, part 2 and part 3.

My last post ended with me being on an ambulance heading back to my hometown. Unfortunately for me I wasn’t sent to my home, like I had hoped, but, instead I was taken to the hospital to continue the treatment and to run more tests. It was a huge disappointment being back in the hospital, but then I thought that it would be easier because I would have the support of all of my family. Sadly, it didn’t become easier at all, I felt only disgust. I could not believe the difference between the person I was two months before the accident and the person I had become in the hospital. read more

I Had A Stroke At 26 – part 3

Intensive Care catalinastan.com

Dear Reader,

The 3rd part of the story of how I became unable to see and hear is finally here. Here are the 1st and 2nd parts of the story, in case you missed the previous posts, so you can have a better understanding of what happened.

It is becoming harder and harder to talk about this events and it is breaking my heart into more thousands of pieces just by thinking of them. But I started it, so I have to finish it.

In my previous post I said that I was yet again moved to another hospital: The National Institute of Cerebral Vascular Diseases. For the love of God, I didn’t understand why I had to be moved again! I thought that the treatment was going well and I finally started feeling a little safer and comfortable. While there, I remember saying:”But I can see myself in the mirror!”. I was faintly able to recognize myself in the mirror, I could see my mother’s blurred face. Right now, I would give anything to have even a quarter of what I could see back then. But my brain doesn’t want to give even 1% back. It is unbelievable and incredibly painful to lose so much in such a short time. read more

I had a stroke at 26 – part 2

Pinned to the Bed catalinastan.com

Dear Reader,

Thank you for coming back to read my story. If you are new here you should refer to part 1. Let’s continue with the story.

Last time I said that I had to see a specialist in infectious diseases. We were referred to The Hospital Of Infectiuos and Tropical Diseases „Victor Babes”, and a neurosurgeon at the Bagdasar-Arseni Emergency Hospital in the capital, Bucharest. Me and my parents arrived there on the 27th of November. Firstly, we went to see the neurosurgeon. He looked through my files and asked for the MRI scans. However, we didn’t have any because weren’t given anything of the sort when I was discharged. There was only the review made by the radiologist. He immediately lost interest in my case and his attitude expressed that I was wasting his time and that he was in a hurry as he was scheduled for a surgery. He basically kicked us out of the door. read more

I Had A Stroke at 26 – part 1

Braila Emergency Hospital catalinastan.com

Dear Readers,

It has been quite a while since my last post (100 days to be exact).I apologize for that, but I think I was waiting for something good to happen to report back to you. Many times I said I wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened to me, but I think it’s about time I shared my story to the world. My family has continuously searched for cases similar to mine. But they couldn’t find anything, because what has happened to me is something very rare and there isn’t much data. read more