A thousand lying words a photo tells

Fifty shades of Grey

my dear,

Do you know what the definition of a typical social media photo is? If you don’t know it or, better said, you don’t want to recognize it, because the reality of this typology is, in fact, not at all foreign to you, then here are some of its characteristics that I can only remind you of now:

No, dear friend, the factual truth is that a photo posted on social media by so many of the likes of you and me does not speak for itself. A photo doesn’t say a thousand words. Such a photograph does not tell the truth behind the lies, as it does not tell about the sighs and sobs behind the smiles captured in it. A photograph does not speak of the bruises left on your body, mind and soul when the flash of the camera was not open, just as it does not speak of arguments, fights and broken hearts. Ah, no, no, these bruises can’t be seen in the photo we’re talking about, because you made sure that the photo passed through the filter of so many layers that you added on top of the original version, so that the bruises, now brown on the surface of the epidermis, made up, get confused with the sepia filter that gives the air of antiquity to a situation that you tell yourself, lying to yourself, that it’s over, that it was nothing, that it doesn’t hurt anymore. read more

My father’s death and the rest of my ongoing days without him

dear reader,

During this morning my father had a cardiac arrest and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Attempts were made to resuscitate him, but he passed away during the evening. He spent the last 2 weeks in the hospital in our hometown, Brăila and in 2 hospitals in Bucharest where he underwent several delicate interventions on the heart that were meant to save his life. All seemed well enough in Bucharest, so he was discharged on Wednesday morning.

Back home, he felt quite well, but this morning his pulse dropped drastically, causing him to lose consciousness. The paramedics took him to the hospital, but we were told by phone from the hospital that nothing more could be done for him. read more

What if I want to keep my heart open ?

”You are my girlfriend and I seriously need your advice on something” , said John the Wolf to me a few days back . ”I am just about to buy this expensive technology which I think will help me learn more about my body and heal it eventualy . I am veery nervous and excited about this purchase and I need you to tell me whether I need it or not !” , he added .
”Which of the two meanings of the word girlfriend did you refer to when you called me your girlfriend ?” I asked , as if to say , ”I am sorry ,but the rest of your sentence does not show any importance to me .”
”What do you mean ?” he said back .
”Nevermind” , I answered , ”Let us not get involved into a conversation about linguistics and meaning of words .”
”I meant to say that you are a friend of mine and that I treasure your opinion” , he explained shortly afterwards .
”Good” , I confirmed , ”Because I gave my heart away to the one I have been dreaming for since forever” , I cleared it all out .
”He will go away once you fully recover your eyesight , I am fully convinced about it .”
”What if I do not want him to go away ? What if I want him to come in ?”
”I think you should not give your heart away to idealistic dreams which may never come true . Maybe you should keep your heart closed to such thoughts , scenarios and dreams .”
”But what if I want to keep it open ? What if the Universe is actually magic ? Why not believe in magic ?”
”I will make you my girlfriend once our paths will cross again , even if that means I will have to fight against demons in hell .”
”Doing so would be a crime against the woman you trully belong to and who„s voice I hear late at night saying to me , ”I beg of you , bring my man back” , which is why I would never dare to steal away another woman„s soulmate . This is a lesson I learned the hard way .”
”No matter what I will make you mine for I am sure you are my soulmate !”
”Trust me , in 10 years time yu will thank me for having kept you at a distance , even though you may come to hate me in the meantime . If my one and only is not him , the one I have dreamed of , then no one else is . I will wait for him to knock at my door for as long as possible , at the risk of staying single for the rest of my life and raising cats instead of children !” read more

Don’t reject the Little Boy

Dear Reader,

I had the following dream some time ago that I want to mention . I was back to school , sitting at my old desk , surounded by many of my friends , people I know or heard of . We were all adults. Then a man entered the classroom . He was holding a small boy’s hand who seemed to suffer from a slight mental disability . His father asked us not to reject his son and allow him to act freely among us in order to observe the little boy’s behaviour in the context with other people . We all agreed to do as such . So the boy began to walk between the desks , stopping in front of each of us . read more

My First Steps Into Realm Of Lucid Dreaming

Dear Reader ,

There is no doubt that I am one of those few very lucky people who enter into the realm of lucid dreaming spontaneously , with absolutely no prior knowledge of this field , no practice and no awareness whatsoever . This is completely my case . Even if I did not show any interest in the ability of lucid dreaming for years and years , I woke myself up all of a sudden experimenting the phenomena of lucid dreaming . To keep things short , I would describe lucid dreaming as the ability of one’s mind to remain awake after the physical body shuts down its processes and functions when going to sleep . But the subject is so wide , that I am only going to point out only a few details that are happening to me . read more

A Candidate To Fall In Love With, Anyone?

The most philosophical conversation I’ve had with the hands fluttering in my eyes I’ve dreamed over 500 times by now was as follows .

” Are You My Subconscious ?” I asked .

” Maybe I am , maybe I am not ” , they answered
.
” What are your intentions ? ”

” I want to induce a certain vibratory emotion in your deep and subtle levels of your mind . It is related to the state of sleeping and the state of being awake . I am here to help . ” read more

If only…then maybe…

Dear Readers,

If there is a thing that I am absolutely sure it will help me get my sight back and that is if I go back to Waterford, Ireland, the place that I lived for 5 months before the stroke that I suffered in November 2013. I thought about this many times, over and over again. What is that thing that I need that could truly help me ? And every time I think about it I get to this point.

I loved Ireland and I left Ireland too abruptly. And I honestly mean it when I say I loved the city I lived in. So many times I found myself bursting out in tears during my long walks on the narrow streets in Waterford, while looking at the buildings, the town houses, terrace houses, gardens, shops and people. I did not want to live it and I left it way too soon. Even after all this time since I left, I still feel myself in a huge percentage in shock about the idea that I left. The weirdest part is that I wasn’t even happy there, not with the person I was in a relationship with. However, even if that part was so difficult to bear back then, I truly and sincerely loved Ireland. read more

The beginning is the end is the end is the beginning

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Dear Readers,

It has been quite a long time since I last wrote something. This is the phrase that nearly all my posts start with. I apologize. I am taking back a few of the promises that I made during the last 2 years. Such as „I promise I will write more often”, „I promise I’ll make more videos.”, „I promise I’ll keep you guys updated.” I wasn’t able to keep any of them. And I excuse myself for what it looks like a lack of interest. I’m not lacking anything. It is just that I was not expecting many of the things that happened to me over the last 2 years to happen in the first place. And I do not mean the stroke that I suffered. I’m talking about a lot of the things that happened after the stroke. read more

I am in The Best Spot

Lonely

Dear Readers,

Today, at Jiko, I had quite a nice session with Mihaela, which followed another one that was by far the longest and most intense session so far. This happened yesterday and it lasted approx 2 h and 15 minutes altogether. She and I had a very nice conversation about life, consciousness, spirit and all sorts of other things.

“Why is it that you feel the need to tell me about the things that you are going through?”, she asked me.

“Let’s not forget I’m still human”, I said. “On different occasions, I’m still led by emotions. I have not found the power to control them yet. I mean…to be emotionless, that is. For example, the feelings of loneliness and abandonment were so overwhelming about a month, that I skipped two weeks of sessions and ran back home where at least I had the company of Pufi the Yorkie.” read more

To write or Not to write

On the bus

Dear Readers,

Since I’ve started Reiki at the end of October 2014, all sorts of unusual and unexpected things have been happening to me. I won’t go into details. Not yet. Mostly because it is theory that I don’t completely understand. Not yet. But what I can honestly say is that I had underestimated the power of the energy transmitted during a Reiki session.
There is a bit that is quite important and it is easier to explain. The energy finds the blockages stoked inside my being, which are then surfaced and shown to me so that I become aware of them and of all the wrongs that they are doing. In time, I will describe these episodes into more detail. But yesterday afternoon, something very interesting happened to me and THAT is what I want to write about today. read more