Categorie: Cronology

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What if I want to keep my heart open ?

”You are my girlfriend and I seriously need your advice on something” , said John the Wolf to me a few days back . ”I am just about to buy this expensive technology which I think will help me learn more about my body and heal it eventualy . I am veery nervous and excited about this purchase and I need you to tell me whether I need it or not !” , he added .
”Which of the two meanings of the word girlfriend did you refer to when you called me your girlfriend ?” I asked , as if to say , ”I am sorry ,but the rest of your sentence does not show any importance to me .”
”What do you mean ?” he said back .
”Nevermind” , I answered , ”Let us not get involved into a conversation about linguistics and meaning of words .”
”I meant to say that you are a friend of mine and that I treasure your opinion” , he explained shortly afterwards .
”Good” , I confirmed , ”Because I gave my heart away to the one I have been dreaming for since forever” , I cleared it all out .
”He will go away once you fully recover your eyesight , I am fully convinced about it .”
”What if I do not want him to go away ? What if I want him to come in ?”
”I think you should not give your heart away to idealistic dreams which may never come true . Maybe you should keep your heart closed to such thoughts , scenarios and dreams .”
”But what if I want to keep it open ? What if the Universe is actually magic ? Why not believe in magic ?”
”I will make you my girlfriend once our paths will cross again , even if that means I will have to fight against demons in hell .”
”Doing so would be a crime against the woman you trully belong to and who„s voice I hear late at night saying to me , ”I beg of you , bring my man back” , which is why I would never dare to steal away another woman„s soulmate . This is a lesson I learned the hard way .”
”No matter what I will make you mine for I am sure you are my soulmate !”
”Trust me , in 10 years time yu will thank me for having kept you at a distance , even though you may come to hate me in the meantime . If my one and only is not him , the one I have dreamed of , then no one else is . I will wait for him to knock at my door for as long as possible , at the risk of staying single for the rest of my life and raising cats instead of children !” read more

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A thousand lying words a photo tells

Fifty shades of Grey

Friday, 4th of May, 2018

Definition of a social media photo:

No, my dear friend, as a matter of fact a photo does not speak for itself. A photo does not speak a thousand words. A photo does not speak the truth behind the lies, nor of the sighs behind the smiles. A photo does not talk of the bruises on your mind, body and soul, nor of the fights and broken hearts. No, my dear friend, a photo can’t do all of these things, but you can. Do note this, when you are sharing your story, you can only speak on your behalf . There is always the other person’s point of view to be taken into account, even when he or she is a psycho not to be blamed for all that confusion in your head. So before you begin instigating to hate and anger, remember that you and only you couldn’t pass your belief that the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. read more

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Don’t reject the Little Boy

Dear Reader,

I had the following dream some time ago that I want to mention . I was back to school , sitting at my old desk , surounded by many of my friends , people I know or heard of . We were all adults. Then a man entered the classroom . He was holding a small boy’s hand who seemed to suffer from a slight mental disability . His father asked us not to reject his son and allow him to act freely among us in order to observe the little boy’s behaviour in the context with other people . We all agreed to do as such . So the boy began to walk between the desks , stopping in front of each of us . read more

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My First Steps Into Realm Of Lucid Dreaming

Dear Reader ,

There is no doubt that I am one of those few very lucky people who enter into the realm of lucid dreaming spontaneously , with absolutely no prior knowledge of this field , no practice and no awareness whatsoever . This is completely my case . Even if I did not show any interest in the ability of lucid dreaming for years and years , I woke myself up all of a sudden experimenting the phenomena of lucid dreaming . To keep things short , I would describe lucid dreaming as the ability of one’s mind to remain awake after the physical body shuts down its processes and functions when going to sleep . But the subject is so wide , that I am only going to point out only a few details that are happening to me . read more

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A Candidate To Fall In Love With, Anyone?

The most philosophical conversation I’ve had with the hands fluttering in my eyes I’ve dreamed over 500 times by now was as follows .

” Are You My Subconscious ?” I asked .

” Maybe I am , maybe I am not ” , they answered
.
” What are your intentions ? ”

” I want to induce a certain vibratory emotion in your deep and subtle levels of your mind . It is related to the state of sleeping and the state of being awake . I am here to help . ” read more

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If only…then maybe…

Dear Readers,

If there is a thing that I am absolutely sure it will help me get my sight back and that is if I go back to Waterford, Ireland, the place that I lived for 5 months before the stroke that I suffered in November 2013. I thought about this many times, over and over again. What is that thing that I need that could truly help me ? And every time I think about it I get to this point.

I loved Ireland and I left Ireland too abruptly. And I honestly mean it when I say I loved the city I lived in. So many times I found myself bursting out in tears during my long walks on the narrow streets in Waterford, while looking at the buildings, the town houses, terrace houses, gardens, shops and people. I did not want to live it and I left it way too soon. Even after all this time since I left, I still feel myself in a huge percentage in shock about the idea that I left. The weirdest part is that I wasn’t even happy there, not with the person I was in a relationship with. However, even if that part was so difficult to bear back then, I truly and sincerely loved Ireland. read more

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The beginning is the end is the end is the beginning

Anonymous_Face_Mask_Catalina_Stan

Dear Readers,

It has been quite a long time since I last wrote something. This is the phrase that nearly all my posts start with. I apologize. I am taking back a few of the promises that I made during the last 2 years. Such as „I promise I will write more often”, „I promise I’ll make more videos.”, „I promise I’ll keep you guys updated.” I wasn’t able to keep any of them. And I excuse myself for what it looks like a lack of interest. I’m not lacking anything. It is just that I was not expecting many of the things that happened to me over the last 2 years to happen in the first place. And I do not mean the stroke that I suffered. I’m talking about a lot of the things that happened after the stroke. read more

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I am in The Best Spot

Lonely

Dear Readers,

Today, at Jiko, I had quite a nice session with Mihaela, which followed another one that was by far the longest and most intense session so far. This happened yesterday and it lasted approx 2 h and 15 minutes altogether. She and I had a very nice conversation about life, consciousness, spirit and all sorts of other things.

“Why is it that you feel the need to tell me about the things that you are going through?”, she asked me.

“Let’s not forget I’m still human”, I said. “On different occasions, I’m still led by emotions. I have not found the power to control them yet. I mean…to be emotionless, that is. For example, the feelings of loneliness and abandonment were so overwhelming about a month, that I skipped two weeks of sessions and ran back home where at least I had the company of Pufi the Yorkie.” read more

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To write or Not to write

On the bus

Dear Readers,

Since I’ve started Reiki at the end of October 2014, all sorts of unusual and unexpected things have been happening to me. I won’t go into details. Not yet. Mostly because it is theory that I don’t completely understand. Not yet. But what I can honestly say is that I had underestimated the power of the energy transmitted during a Reiki session.
There is a bit that is quite important and it is easier to explain. The energy finds the blockages stoked inside my being, which are then surfaced and shown to me so that I become aware of them and of all the wrongs that they are doing. In time, I will describe these episodes into more detail. But yesterday afternoon, something very interesting happened to me and THAT is what I want to write about today. read more

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I Do Hate Too

Ireland

Dear Readers,

The things that I’m going to write about today are of such intimacy and privacy to me that I cannot believe myself that I decided to write about them. It was often suggested to me that I should talk to a shrink about them, but I refused. A while back, my sister read me an article which underlined the importance and the benefits of writing about different issues, especially during one’s healing journey.

During Monday’s reiki session, Miss Rodica, the therapist who has been treating me over the last 4 weeks, asked me how I had been. I wasn’t sure what to answer. I didn’t want to let her know the real state of mind I was in. And even if I had told her, I would have burst out crying in front of her. But the therapists at Jiko are not only very good practitioners, but good listeners and advisers as well. Because of that, I decided to be honest and confessed myself to her. read more

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